As unpaid internships become the norm, starting salaries fall and the cost of living soars, more and more graduates are finding they have no choice but to live at home and accept hand-outs from their parents.
The book Jilted Generation: How Britain Bankrupted its Youth argues that a succession of short-sighted policies – from all governments in the last 30 years – have combined to mean that yours is the first generation that will be worse off financially then your parents.
While you’re forking out £27,000 for your degree, they didn’t pay a penny for theirs. You’ve been priced out of the housing market, they bought property at bargain prices (some even own multiple properties, which they rent to young people at extortionate prices, to make even more money). As if that’s not bad enough, while young people’s salaries have risen by less than 30% in the last 10 years, older people’s have risen by over 40%.
If you’ve been forced to ask your mum and dad for money, how did it make you feel? And is the cash a loan – or a gift? When – if ever – do you expect to be able to pay them back? And if your parents don’t have any money to lend you, how does it make you feel when your friends say their parents are supporting them, while they get their career going? If you’re taking money from your parents to fund an unpaid internship, does it make you feel angry that your mum and dad are effectively subsidizing your tight-fisted employer? Or do you feel their generation owes yours, after grabbing all the goodies for themselves and leaving you with nothing?
My parents could never afford to help me out financially, but I was stuck in the middle bracket where the government assumed they would subsidise my studies, so I didn’t receive anything but the bare minimum loans from my LEA, and nothing from my parents while I was at Uni. When they downsized late last year they lent me money to clear some of my bank debt (accumulated while at Uni, but not the student loan itself) so I wasn’t incurring ridiculous interest. But I’m paying them back – estimates suggest it will take me 6 years.
Do I feel their generation owes my generation something? Perhaps. But that’s not my parents fault, so I do feel bad accepting money from them. My Mum is ill and my Dad is the sole earner. Some recognition of the imbalance between generations would be nice from the government, but that’s clearly not going to come anytime soon.
I’ve been reliant on my parents since I started uni. The fact that student finance takes your parents’ earnings into account is the first sign that this generation is being expected to live off the previous one. I’m lucky, because my parents both earn, and made the decision to prioritise mine and my sister’s education over other considerations (electronics, new cars, moving house etc.). It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty, though, and although it’s not officially a loan I definitely hope to be able to contribute in the future to makes some kind of repayment.
I know I have an advantage over many people because my parents have been so supportive, and I don’t like that – I would like to be able to feel I am succeeding on my own terms rather than as a result of economic backing others won’t have access to.
Any child raised in a loving home, with a roof over their head, shoes on their feet and food on the table (which is thankfully the majority of us)shouldn’t feel that their parents owe them. I know I owe my parents so much, more than can be repaid.
Despite having to live back at my family home after three years of independence as I can’t get a paid job after uni in my chosen fields, I haven’t had to ask my parents for money. My unpaid internships are funded out of my savings from when I have worked in the past.
I don’t like it, but its what I have to do.
I don’t blame my parents generation for enjoying the life that their parents wanted them to have. We’d all do the same. I just wish they’d accept that those days are numbered, if not already over. Reading the headlines it strikes me that Generation X hasn’t realized the 20th century boom party is over. Maybe Generation Y has.
@Sara
Thanks for your comment. I think the financial ‘generation gap’ is really interesting, especially what you say about parents being somehow ‘expected’ to help out, unless you’re from the very poorest group.
What particularly gets my goat is parents subsidizing unpaid internships. NOT because they shouldn’t – I know parents only want the best for their kids! But because they shouldn’t HAVE to! What they’re effectively doing is footing the bill for any ‘saving’ that the company is making by not paying its junior staff properly. That’s outrageous!
@Tanya
That’s the problem with the means-tested loans system. It just assumes that because your parents are earning a certain amount they will pay your way. That certainly wasn’t the case for me! I’m not saying I wanted handouts, but it seemed unfair that other students got full grants because of their parents incomes. They were definitely better off than me at Uni.
Of course, the flipside is that I had friends whose parents DID pay their way at Uni, to the extent where they paid the equivalent of the maintenance and tuition fees, and my friends took the money from the LEA and put it in a savings account for the duration of their time at Uni. By the time they graduated, they’d earned a nice little bundle of interest which they then kept. Fair? No.
About nine months ago I stopped taking money from my parents for the first time in my life (as they paid my way through uni to avoid me starting my working life in massive debt – how lucky am I?) It was easily the most satisfying and liberating thing I’ve ever done. Would I ask them for money now? Yes, if I needed it, and if I needed it, I know they would give it, because they are able to. But it’s the drive to be independent and an adult that stops me. But I appreciate that they want me to have the best start in life and that they only want the best for their child. My only way of paying them back, however, is to make them proud.
Of course, my biggest worry is that I won’t ever be able to provide for my child(ren) the same way, a thought that has plagued me since I first started thinking about kids! With parents supposedly expected to pay for their children way beyond 18, very very few of this generation will realistically be able to afford kids!
@LosTheSkald
This is so interesting to me… And i’m sure it chimes with lots of other readers. At 21 and with a degree, you should surely be able to pay for a basic standard of living yourself? Then again, there’s no ‘should’ about it, I suppose. Many of you just can’t – it’s as simple as that : (
I do feel bad guilty taking a loan from my parents to fund my masters as it means I have an unfair advantage over someone who’s parents cannot afford to loan heaps of dosh to their offspring. Same goes for parents subsidising unpaid internships. Why does anyone deserve a better start in life because they had the dumb luck of having wealthier parents? What I wouldn’t feel guilty about is taking money from the proportion of baby boomers (I must stress it is only a proportion) that have done very nicely out of the country over past decades and will do so over the next few decades as well. We are paying for their health and social care, their pensions (public and private) and for the huge increase in the value of their homes. We shouldn’t feel guilty for taking money from them as long as it is done in a fair and distributive way, i.e. through tax, rather than through well-off parents making life easier for their lucky children at the expense of everyone else. (Cliché, lefty, angry-young-man rant over).
@Nick
Well done for doing it all on your own, that can’t have been easy. If you dont’ blame your parents’ generation, who do you blame? I can’t help feeling that anybody born after Sept 1979 has been totally shafted. I was born Aug ’79 and I’m doing okay – but not earning much more than I was earning 5 years ago – and still renting with randoms (which i actually love- but i know that’s not the point!)
@morningglory
I just can’t get over this – it’s crazy that you guys are being put in a position where you not only have to work for free but also have to feel like a traitor to your generation for doing it. It’s a total disgrace and it makes me so angry.
@Tanya
I wouldn’t say I’ve done it all on my own, financially yes – but only because I got such generous maintenance grant and bursaries at university + worked full time in vacations. My parents don’t buy me things or pay for my degree, but I’ve had their love and support no matter what.
I can’t really bring myself to blame any particular group of people. I guess I’m angry at anyone who thinks this problem will go away, angry at anyone who makes it clear that they don’t care, but I don’t blame anyone for this whole situation.
I hate to get all personal, but the reason why is because my mother grew up in care, went to university without any parents to support her, had no home to go to during vacations, worked hard and tirelessly to build a life for herself and she did very very well. Her viewpoint and lifestyle have influenced me all my life.
Those are far worse odds than I have right now. So instead of complaining and demanding a “graduate revolution”, I am just going to get on with it and find a way to do well in life, to me that is the best and most satisfying revenge on a world that is hurting us grads.
I was one of about 8 people I know who got a first in my subject. By now all the others have done a masters. I have not; no parental financial support. (Whether it was worthwhile for them to have done a masters is a different subject all together but at least they had the option there and could avoid living it up on the dole).
I have to live with my parents even though I am working full time so in a way I am taking money from them. I’m desperate to be financially independent but with the cost of living getting higher each year I’m worried it will never happen.
Many of my friends who live away from home rely on their parents to send them money every month which just goes straight to the landlord or is used to pay bills. It makes me angry to hear ignorant people moaning about the young being spoilt because they get money from their parents, as though they spend it on designer clothes or something.
Jobs should pay a living wage and rents should be limited. Then we would not have so many young people who still need pocket money.
Hi Tanya,
I couldn’t agree more with your post. I’m lucky enough to be working but don’t earn enough to move away from home, and the cost of my commute prohibits me from saving towards getting out of my overdraft let alone save for a deposit. The more I see my friends in graduate positions moving into their own places and getting on with their lives, the more depressed and trapped I feel. To top things off I’m not even working in the area that I want to build a career in.
When I hear about older people worrying about buying a house I just want to say to them well I cant even afford to rent! I’m currently in the process of applying for a second job just so that I can save a deposit and to rent in a flat share.
I feel guilty for taking money off my parents, for a number of reasons.
They paid for me to do a Masters (the fees + some contribution to living costs). Like joddle I got a First; however, I seem to be the only one who went on to do a Masters. I feel doubly guilty, firstly for taking money off my parents past the age of 21 and secondly for the people whose parents either can’t or won’t subsidise them in the same way. (I did enjoy the Masters but if I am truly honest with myself, I only did it as I couldn’t find a job.)
It makes me incredibly angry that the student loans system takes your parents’ income into account. It effectively FORCES adults (and yes, students are adults as they are over 18) to be reliant upon their parents for support. It then sets everyone up for a system where it is considered normal for parents to subsidise their adult children for longer and longer… and thus we have ended up in this situation.
I feel like a massive hypocrite for taking their money for so long… but what else am I supposed to do? A sacrifice, i.e. not taking their money for my Masters, might be noble but ultimately futile as me not going isn’t going to help someone else to go.
I also live with my parents’-in-law… which is effectively ‘taking money’ from them, as although my husband and I pay them rent it is only a nominal amount and I’m sure it doesn’t even cover the cost of our food, extra lighting bills etc. And again I feel horribly guilty… I’m not even their child!… but what else can we do? We earn an okay amount of money between us but neither of us are in jobs with enough stability. We don’t know if we will still be earning an okay amount of money next month, and that is what prevents us moving out.
Now I just feel guilty all over, thanks Tanya
@Ayesha you make a key point: even when there are jobs out there to be had they are temporary and can’t be relied upon. I don’t think people were forced or even expected to rely on their parents 20 years ago. 20 years ago it was more usual for people to start their own families when they were around 20years old. Don’t feel guilty about doing a Masters. Like a lot of people out there you considered it because its so hard getting paid work.
Yup, still living at home and turn 25 next week, it is very depressing.
I have recently started my PGCE for which the government kindly cut all bursaries for… and because I was 24 when I started the course any grants would have been means-tested on my parents income! At the age of 24 I think this is absolutely rediculous, I am an adult and the wage of my parents should not have any influence! So not only am I living at home, I am also relying on them to cover the shortfall in the living grants provided my the student loan company!
I’m 24 and I don’t live with my parents – I’ve gone through various short term jobs in the past few years, and most recently have been trying to make a living as a freelance writer. It’s hard work, and the pay hasn’t been great so far. My parents don’t give me money (maybe the odd tenner here and there). I get £30 a month from my grandparents and occasionally my mum takes me shopping so I don’t run out of food (once a month usually). I’m ridiculously good with money – spent three years in uni without going overdrawn once because I understood that once the money’s gone, it’s gone. I didn’t have a safety net. I don’t live with my parents due to health reasons – it’s easier for me to live elsewhere, even if it is a struggle to pay for it.
I used to get angry with people who get by on their parents money, but I’m not so much anymore. It’s all down to attitude. The people I went to uni with got drunk all the time, turned up to lectures late, and didn’t really seem to care about anyone less fortunate than them. I put that down to privileged upbringing but I don’t think money is the only cause of that – my boyfriend’s parents are reasonably well-off and they contribute a lot to his living costs, however he still works hard in a paid internship, gives to charity, and takes care of himself and others.
I’m angry with the job centre’s treatment of 18-24 year olds. I was unemployed for eight months and had to deal with them and I hated every minute of it – despite undertaking three voluntary placements, two part-time courses, lots of career building sessions from Remploy, and god knows how many job applications they still treated me like feckless scum. Plus you get the lower rate of JSA, less allowance if you want to work while receiving housing benefit (which actually meant I had to TURN DOWN part-time jobs because I would have been worse off than on benefits… that’s right, I would have been making the equivalent of LESS than roughly £500 a month because of their stupid rules), and no working tax credit.
The whole unpaid internship thing didn’t bother me until Poundland-gate – don’t apply for unpaid internships, do voluntary work instead! It’s much better, you might even get some free training and you’ll work with nicer people. It’s the job centre taking people OUT of voluntary placements and sticking them in unpaid jobs that I cannot stand – charities and not for profit organisations are crying out for people to help them, thanks to the government’s vicious cuts, and Cameron is now making things even WORSE. It’s diabolical.
My parents couldn’t afford to pay for me to go to uni. I took a student loan and grant and that money effectivly went back into my family, like on food, bills, etc. I’m doing a Masters now out of the money I saved from my loan and it barely covers the fees. It seems like a massive waste now as well because Masters aren’t very highly regarded in the legal profession at all. It’s all about work experience, hard to find and unpaid if you’re lucky enough to get it.
Jobs are so hard to come by now, i’ve had a couple of temp ones and a permt one that I lost due to jobs cuts. All applications made since then have been unsuccessful.
It’s maddening to see some students at university that boast about ‘sponging’ off their parents and talking about this being their third or fourth postgraduate qualification because they don’t feel like working.
I’ve lived at home throughout uni because its cheaper and i’ll be doing the same after my Masters. It feels so bad to be taking money from my parents and not being able to give anything back simply because there aren’t many jobs available, but what else can we do?
I’m not going to blame my mum for anything. She’s absolutely wrecked herself to earn enough, (from under 10k a year to qualifying as a primary teacher, whilst looking after 3 kids), it’s just that she’ll be retiring in 15 years and have a solid £0 to sit on so pretty much every day I’m home she’s spending cash on me and not her retirement.
So yeah, guilt is a pretty big thing for me.
But screw it, onwards and upwards. It was me who chose a dumb industry to get into and I’ve finally payed off my overdraft so pretty much, get a couple of hundred together, go to a completely different city, work in a bar/shop/something soulless at first and start from scratch. Hate using an immigrant comparison because Mail readers do it near constantly, but people cross continents for a better life with nothing but shoes on their feet and if they can do it then I can.
Taking money from my parents, well, I can’t really feel bad about it, because they chose not to give me anything. Both my parents have reasonable incomes for working class people, and this was taken into account when I applied for my student loan. However, what the Student Loan Company doesn’t understand is that even if your parents CAN afford to give you financial help, that’s not to say that they WILL. Once their son or daughter is over the age of eighteen, the parents are under no obligation to look after their child. My parents did allow me to move back into their house after I had graduated, but they made sure that I knew that they resented every minute of it.
Now, I understand that people will think “that’s your own stupid fault, you should have earned some money before you went to university and lived on your savings.” I do agree, and I would have got a job and deferred university for another year. Unfortunately, my parents didn’t allow me to do that. They packed me straight off to university and were extremely angry (to the point of abusiveness) that I had dared to even consider taking a break from my education.
Do I feel guilty about taking money, not from my parents. They chose not to help me out. I do feel guilty about living with my fiance, though and him working in his full time career and me only earning little bits from informal employment here and there. I am trying to get employment, of course, but why should my future husband have to support me? Especially when the two people who are meant to love me more than anything decided that I was too worthless to bother with.
Then again, I suppose I’m being cynical here, but I resent being the Baby Boomers’ scapegoat for what is wrong with the economy. I’m sorry, but I was still in secondary school when the economical problems were beginning. I am trying now to get a job (working in a shop, then working my way up) so that I can do my part in righting the wrongs, but why oh why do the Baby Boomers have to place every ounce of blame on the young people? Yes, there are feckless youngsters out there who don’t give a toss and who don’t feel like working, but that’s hardly every individual from ages ten to about thirty-five. Also, since the subject was mentioned elsewhere, when the bottom fell out of the housing market, most of us graduates were still children. Now, our generation is the one who are least likely to be able to get a mortgage (or keep up with the payments on it if they have managed to get one). Surely they can’t blame us for being priced out of the housing market when we still weren’t elligible to vote?
i rely on my parents for free accommodation, food and bills, I am so glad that they allow me this. my father is on incapacity benifits, which as we all know are being cut and disposed of, and my mother is on a low income, but they have welcomed me back home after 3 years of university.
i had grants and loans (and job savings for my first second years of university) but the course i studied was practical and required allot of items, which addd up allot! i unfortunately am still weaning my way out of my interest free overdraft a year after graduation, due to that, and being reluctant to sign on last year.
I work two ,minimum wage jobs, contracted to 20 sporadic hours between them, i live in the back end of wales, there is no where doing internships, no where (except working with cats) to volunteer. I am desperately saving to be able to move somewhere that will alow me to further myself,because i cant afford to study a masters or a PGCE therefore need the paid employment that is just not available. Retail work shouldn’t be a happy option for graduates.
it annoys me that so many people can get on the work/internships ladder by just being in the right location, even working unpaid in london for example for a couple of months could result in you having numerous business contacts.
If jobs paid you for your skills and hard work, rather than standard basic pay for all in their company then workers would be happier, and in the employment they want.
when i was signed on last year the job centre advised me to not take the unpaid voluntary placement i wanted to take up in london for a few days as my benefits would have been stopped as they hadn’t organized it, i needed my benefits after using my overdraft. Ive been unable to apply for more similar placements since working due to the random hours i work between two jobs.
hey job centre, you kinda suck, but not half as much as the coalition.
thank god i have decent parents who struggle on and go with-out to help me.
I am in the RN to BSN program. I have a 8 month old son, and I feel horrible taking money from my dad. He would give me money more often at larger quantities but I wouldn’t take advantage of him like that. Yes, I feel guilty.. but at the same time I let him know how appreciative I am and one day some how, I will give him back everything and more than what he has given me. He’s thrown money at me for a while with a smile on his face, and has never made me feel guilty for it. My dad has a great heart and he inspires me to be like him.
27 years old, graduated at 25 with a first class degree in Human Resource Management, still no job, had one for 3 months last year 2012 but they made the role redundant- stock room guy in Next 9 hours per week @ £6.43ph. Still with Mum and Dad, i hate it I want to be like the others out there living on their own but I found out people worst off than me, 38 year olds moving in with their whole family into mommas and poppas. I moved briefly out of the country in 2011 after graduating back to my parents’ home country they left 40 years ago, but it did not work out, they are recruiting their own kind and even though i look like them, they say i am British and Britain is wealthy so go back home lol. Ironic really! Mum n Dad made it possible for me, but I will love to pay them back and take some of the bills or shopping or something!
You all talk absolute rubbish
Im 21 i earn £980 a month after a tax, and i own a 3 bedroom house and pay £380 a month mortgage. There’s nothing wrong with the house market, or the job market.
I never went to uni as no-one values qualifications, its just the governments way of reducing UN-employment figures and you all fell for it.
My parents have never given me a dime, the deposit was saved up by myself from the age of 14.
Get a grip.
You are aware that different people can have very different experiences?